Yesterday, I re-met 2 people, I had known as 'Singles' before they decided to marry each other.It was a normal meet, with oooh-aaahs , how have you been!!... ohh you never call up!... no it's your fault... no yours!
I was plain happy to see them really happy, and not tearing each others hair out as is my prenotion about what happens once people really get to know each other after marriage.
Well they are a really sweet couple, and really sweet people individually too. They laugh at, nudge and keep discovering new things about, each other. Like the Girl, she got to know right there at the talk we were having, that her husband controls advertising budgets of 100 crores for that year.
I could actually see her giving that look to him...' you look like such a fool otherwise but this is so super cool!' ...all with that glassy glint of a tear and little pride in her eyes.
You would otherwise need a fast-speed camera to capture such things but I'm naturally gifted...he he! No conceit but all i mean to say is , ordinarily people would have missed such slight a thing.
We chatted and just a few minutes later the conversation came to the all too familiar Topic, "When are you getting married Deepak!".... a question i avoid even to myself and am totally totally unprepared to answer.
First of all I'm totally happy , occupied and unavailable for anything new with my life as it is!
I reallly don't feel the need, i DON'T feel lonely. I don't miss anyone not ringing me, to find out where I am. I don't miss not getting a mushy gifts or giving one, at Valentines or otherwise.
The only time i did miss not having any girl was at Goa beach, at the Ad fest last to last year, when after night set in, most people were hanging out with there girlfriends or boyfriends and I had no one to hangout with!!
For that one evening i did feel left out!
Apart from that I do feel that i can't go to see a movie i like alone. I can't get anyone to like the same kind of movies nor even at least, at the same time. Result: I haven't seen more than 5 movies at the theater in the last 8 years ( excluding the ones which I went to see with my mom... she did out of sheer pity I guess).
Apart from that i don't like eating alone at Pizza joints and the like.
So you see those are the areas I miss having someone. Now i question myself... would even a male friend do.. answer is YES! All I seek is company.
And getting someone to go to movies and to pizza joints is hardly the reason to get married.
In fact its cheap and low to get married for such noble reasons.
SEX? well i did wonder if i was normal and healthy to not be wanting to get married for that. Well i tested myself in Pattaya. I was with this beautiful young woman, doing the exotic routines and baths and all for me....and i even surprised myself. All she managed to do was a blow job. Just that. I didn't feel the urge to screw her, or anything. 20 -30 minutes later we were sitting on the bed, naked yet totally unconscious of each other, showing each other our tattoos, talking , laughing. I remember that we spent the rest of the 1.5 hour talking. She talking about her family in Nora buri, how she got tired doing 2 jobs and that she liked Salmen khan'.
This is after not being with a woman for 8 years. I disappointed and surprised myself too.
So Sex as a reason too isn't working for me.
What else do i get married for?.... i wonder?
The fact is, and all the light humor apart I had been in something close to a marriage for a good 5 years. I know what all it takes to keep a relationship and what it manages to give you back. Maybe I've had a bad experience, maybe I'm wary of giving control of my life to someone who isn't worth it.
Truth is, I haven't found anybody special. No one which i felt like... yes, I wish I could spend the rest of my life with her. All I meet is super mediocrity on feet, insecure, small hearted, afraid people. Marry is another zone, I haven't even met anyone who I can really fall in love with ( even if she was unreachable) without being too compassionate to their failings.
And I am not the kind who'll marry because it's time to marry, according to the scale of the world.
That apart, I'm financially not set to jump into a marriage. Career and business plans, need lot of commitment and time. I want to travel , I most probably will work and live abroad. Keeping in mind all these thing I don't think settling down just for the sake of it would be the right thing for me. It just wouldn't be just.
I'm happy with my life as it is going, and I'm single by choice!!
By the way, the new Sunfest pasta with one cube of Amul cheese dropped while preparing a pack tastes awesome. You should try it sometimes.
